In All States
by GratiaPlena
Summary: Frankie and Tommy tease their sister about her "friend". A story in screenplay format. (It once was a one shot, but this is too much fun!)
1. Chapter 1

_I found out today that Rizzoli & Isles will be cancelled. I haven't been watching for years, but I'm sad to know that there will be less fanfiction._

 _Anyway, it made me think about the unfinished fics that are on my hard drive. I wrote this dialogue last summer when marriage became legal in all states of the USA. I like the dialogue, but can't figure out how to make a nice story out of it. So, I'm just sharing it as a screenplay of sorts._

 _Disclaimers: nothing belongs to me._

* * *

FADE IN:

INT. FRANKY'S APPARTMENT - EVENING

JANE is sitting on the couch, opening a beer. She has temporarily moved in with her brother FRANKIE. Her brother TOMMY has just joined them to watch a baseball game. Tommy lets himself fall back on the couch and grabs the remote. Without turning to his sister he asks:

TOMMY  
So... how does it feel?

JANE  
How does what feel? Switch to the game, moron.

TOMMY  
(grins)  
That it's legal now.

JANE  
What is legal? To be a knucklehead? We're missing the whole preview now! Channel 18! One….EIGHT. Good boy. Oh... gahhh commercials! So.. legal to do what?

FRANKIE  
(walks into the room, grabs a beer)

TOMMY  
(takes a swig of beer)  
To get married.

FRANKIE  
(sits next to Tommy)

TOMMY (CONT')  
In ALL states.  
(turns to Frankie)  
You know what I'm saying?

FRANKIE  
Woah, you just went there! I bet you've been thinking about the right moment for that joke for a week! Nice one, my brother!  
(high fives Tommy)

JANE

(not laughing, puts down her beer)  
Are you making a lesbian joke? Cause you know what happened the last time?

TOMMY  
(quickly)  
Hey, woh. Nah, it was a Maura joke.

FRANKIE  
(laughs)  
Got a damn death wish, bro?

JANE  
How is that _any_ better?

TOMMY  
Hey come on now, Janie. Lighten up! I'm just saying; if you want to make it official now...you know?

FRANKIE  
(turns to Tommy)  
You know it has been legal here for a long while?

TOMMY  
Really? How come I only saw it on Facebook now? No, but I mean that's good. I knew it - Bostonians are smarter than that. It was a stupid debate. Can people marry who they love? Yes. Done.

JANE  
Whom.

TOMMY  
What?

JANE  
Whom they love. It's a relative clause, so… ah shut up, assholes..!  
(throws a bottlecap at her snickering brothers)

FRANKIE  
Nah, but seriously though: are you guys together?

JANE  
Don't go for round two now. Frankie, I'm warning ya, I'm not in the mood.

FRANKIE  
It's not round two. It's an honest question, but I take it you're not or you don't want us to know. Anyway. That's fine.

JANE  
That's fine? That's fucking fine? You need to grant me permission or something? ...the hell?

TOMMY  
The preview's back on. Shut up!

JANE  
Don't tell me to shut up! You two are sitting here insulting me and then asking me whether … gah!

TOMMY  
How is being gay an insult? Look,..I don't care,,okay? You're adults. Do what you want. Now let's watch this.

FRANKIE  
No, I care. You're not seeing her?

JANE  
I'm warning you...

FRANKIE  
I want to hear you say it.

JANE  
You are ACTUALLY serious?

TOMMY  
He's serious.

FRANKIE  
I'm serious.

JANE  
(slowly, deliberately)  
Nooo.

FRANKIE  
Why not?

JANE  
Do I have to go there again? Seriously? I'm NOT gay. Alright?

TOMMY  
He's not asking whether you're gay; he's asking whether you're .. ya know...'seeing' Maura?

JANE  
Isn't that the same question?

FRANKIE  
No.

TOMMY  
Hell no.

JANE  
Whatever! You guys think what you want to think.

TOMMY  
What? You like her, right?

JANE  
(sarcastic)  
 _Yes_. She's my _friend_.

TOMMY  
Yeah, but I mean LIKE like. You know? When she's walking by in one of her sexy little…

FRANKIE  
Tommy...come on man. You do have a death wish!

TOMMY  
No, but I'm just saying. We all know the look on your face, Janie. Can't blame you either. She's attractive.

FRANKIE  
That she is.

TOMMY  
Riiight?!

JANE  
Shut up. Seriously, just shut up!

TOMMY  
And you're territorial.

JANE  
That's a big word.

TOMMY  
For someone like me?

JANE  
(takes a swig of beer and remains silent)

TOMMY  
No, go on, say it.

FRANKIE  
Hey you two. Come one, keep this civilized. Look, let's just watch the preview. You're obviously uncomfortable to talk about it. Just know that we're cool. Right?

TOMMY  
Right. We're cool. You can talk to us.

JANES  
For God's sakes. There's _nothing_ to talk about!

FRANKIE  
Or you can just avoid the subject.

JANE  
What is that supposed to mean?

TOMMY  
Guys, come on. The preview?

JANE  
There's no subject to avoid. You honestly think I'm dating Maura and I'm not telling you? What..and _you_ think I'm dating Maura too?  
(points at Tommy with her beer bottle)

FRANKIE  
All I'm saying: if you're not, you should be.

TOMMY  
Yeah. For real.

JANE  
(gives up)

TOMMY (CONT')  
You love her, she loves you. You're attracted to her, she's attracted to you.  
(in a high pitched voice)  
' _Oh, Jane, you're so smart and you have super long bones_!'  
(in his own voice)  
Right?

FRANKIE  
(in a high pitched voice)  
' _Zip up my expensive dress and have dinner with me!_ '

TOMMY  
(in a high pitched voice)  
' _I'll pay! I'll buy you a suit too, so I can oggle your super long bones!_ '

FRANKIE and TOMMY  
(laugh)

JANE  
She did not buy me that suit. I payed for that, okay? She just went shopping with...ah shut up, just shut up.

FRANK  
Look Janie, all I'm saying is: she may be your 'The One', you know? And you can't just expect her to be around forever until you've found an appropriate label for your sexuality.

JANE  
Say what, now?!

TOMMY  
Yeah, she's not going to wait around if you never make a move. She can date any man she wants!

FRANKIE  
Or woman.

TOMMY  
Or woman. Yeah: or _woman_ , Janie. Think about that! That's even worse in a way. You need to get your act together.

JANE  
(slowly, deliberately)  
"I'm - _not_ \- gay."

TOMMY  
"Whatever, you love her."

JANE  
(doesn't reply)

FRANKIE  
(confirms to Tommy)  
She loves her.

JANE  
(gets up and walks out, slamming the door)

TOMMY  
Oh yeah. She loves her.

FRANKIE  
And we're still alive!

FRANKIE and TOMMY  
(high five)

TOMMY  
Yeah! Close one though! Want another beer? Oh hey the game is on!

TOMMY and FRANKY  
(in unison)  
JANIE! THE GAME IS ON!

FADE OUT


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I'm glad that the format didn't stop you from enjoying it.  
I had so much for reading the reviews! As a token of appreciation I made this a two-shot!_

* * *

FADE IN:

INT. MAURA'S HOUSE - DAY

It's Sunday Afternoon. Commercials blast from the big screen TV. ANGELA, MAURA and JANE are on the couch and FRANKIE and TOMMY are on the chairs in Maura's living room. They have watched a sports match after their traditional Sunday Lunch.

ANGELA  
Game is done. Come on, Janie. It's our turn for the dishes this week.

JANE  
Pf. Let's get this over with.  
(gets up and follows Angela to the kitchen)

TOMMY  
(watches them leave, then turns to Maura) (conspiratorial)  
So...when are you gonna ask her out?

MAURA  
Ask out whom?

TOMMY  
My mother!

FRANKIE  
(laughs)

MAURA  
Why would I ask your mother out?

TOMMY  
Sarcasm, Maur'. I meant Janie of course. When are you going to ask her out? It's BEYOND time.

MAURA  
Oh, sarcasm. Saying the opposite of what you mean to say in order to show irritation. Research shows that twenty one point two percent of...

FRANKIE  
(interrupts)  
Way to change the subject, mrs Detective.

TOMMY  
Hey, smartiepants! They're not married _yet_!

FRANKIE  
(laughs)  
True!  
(turns to Maura)  
You're not, right? You haven't secretly eloped and not told us? I'm with mom, you know? I want a BIG wedding.

TOMMY  
Yeah, I want to give my sis away. Imagine that!

FRANKIE  
Hey, but why do _you_ get to give her away?

TOMMY  
I'm the tallest.

FRANKIE  
I'm the smartest.

TOMMY  
Whatever, I look better in a suit. Right, Maura? My long bones?

MAURA  
I'm...I'm confused.

TOMMY  
Yeah well. I'm giving her away. SHOTGUN!

FRANKIE  
Oh that's low. You can't shotgun giving someone away on her wedding. Way to objectify your sister! Wait till she finds out!

TOMMY  
She won't find out. This stays between us, right, Maura?

MAURA  
(tries to figure out why a shotgun is part of the conversation)  
Uhm...

FRANKIE  
We can both give her away. These are modern times, my friend.

TOMMY  
(bitter)  
I bet Pop will claim his rights. If he's not too 'catholic' all of a sudden.

FRANKIE  
Janie might not invite him? Maura, we have dibs on giving Janie away. You are our witness.

MAURA  
(tries to figure out what dibs may be)  
Oh… Oh. Okay.

FRANKIE (CONT')  
So, will you both wear a dress? Or will Janie wear a tux?

TOMMY  
Yeah! Or her dress uniform. No..no get this! Her Redsox jacket!

FRANKIE  
(laughs)  
Oh my god. She would, she totally would!  
(to Maura)  
Would you still marry her in her baseball jacket?

MAURA  
(flustered)  
Uhm.. uhm. Yes.

TOMMY  
(whistles)  
True love, that.

FRANKIE  
I love how you can't lie. Anyway, back to the original question: when are you going to ask her out already?

MAURA  
I...I don't know. I think I should help with the dishes.  
(gets up and quickly walks to the kitchen)

TOMMY  
(looks at Maura walking away)  
Lightweight.

FRANKIE  
(grins)  
Right? Anyway, she's got till-death-do-them-part to get used to her brothers-in-law!

TOMMY  
I'll drink to that!  
(clinks his beer bottle to Frankie's)

FADE OUT


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm glad I cleared my hard drive! The story now has a life of it's own. This is so much fun! I love your comments; they're witty and heart warming.  
Thank you to rehellams_ _and an anonymous guest for pointing out a mistake in the previous chapter! I changed it. This chapter is dedicated to you both!_

 _Time for the brothers to tease Angela!_

* * *

FADE IN:

INT. MAURA'S HOUSE - DAY

FRANKIE, ANGELA and TOMMY are sitting around Maura's table. On the table are the remnants of a Sunday Lunch. It's a week later.

ANGELA  
Have some more potatoes, Tommy. If you don't eat them, I'll have to throw them away.

TOMMY  
No ma, it was lovely, but I'm stuffed. You cooked for twenty people!

ANGELA  
Frankie?

FRANKIE  
No ma, thanks.

ANGELA  
Come on, just two more?

FRANKIE  
No, ma. It was lovely, but I'm done.

ANGELA  
I'll save some for the girls, for when they get back from their spa weekend.

FRANKIE  
They surely missed a treat. When will they get back from the spa?

TOMMY  
(gestures)  
The "Spa" ...riiight.

ANGELA  
(gets up to clean the table)  
What is that supposed to mean?

FRANKIE  
Tommy thinks they aren't at a spa, but that they are eloping.

ANGELA  
What?  
(sits back down)  
What?

FRANKIE  
Yeah, he put a twenty on it. I don't think so. I think Maura will want to have a big wedding.

ANGELA  
Eloping? ELOPING? Who is eloping?

FRANKIE  
We don't know that anybody is.

ANGELA  
No, but...

TOMMY  
Aw, come on! They're SO eloping!

FRANKIE  
You have no proof. I'm getting your twenty bucks, mister.

ANGELA  
Wait! Wait, you two! WHO is eloping?

TOMMY  
Jane.

FRANKIE  
Maura.

ANGELA  
Which one?

TOMMY  
Both!

ANGELA  
With each other?  
(shrieks)  
WITH EACH OTHER? SAY SOMETHING!

TOMMY  
Yeah!

FRANKIE  
Ma, calm down. We don't even know. Tommy swears he saw rings. But I think he's hallucinating.

ANGELA  
Rings? RINGS! Oh heavens.

FRANKIE  
We don't know, Ma. Calm down. They may well just be on a spa trip. We don't even know if they are dating yet.

ANGELA  
Dating? My Janie? My Maura? Where is my phone? FRANKIE WHERE IS MY PHONE?

TOMMY  
Ma, don't get a heart attack. We thought you knew?

ANGELA  
Knew? I know nothing! NOTHING! No one ever tells me anything!

FRANKIE  
There is nothing to tell. We just _think_ they're dating. Well...or that they should be.

ANGELA  
What do you mean? What does this mean? Stop grinning, Tommy! What do you know?

TOMMY  
Well...it's kinda obvious, don't you think?

ANGELA  
Well...well yes, but... I thought they were just confused. Flexible, fluid. You know? I didn't think they were more than - how do you say it? Special friends? And now they are eloping? They can't elope. They won't elope. Not over my dead body. Where is my phone?  
(rummages in her handbag, pulls out a phone, swipes and clicks)  
Hello? Hello? Janie?

FRANKIE  
(makes strange noises and turns red)

ANGELA  
Hello, Janie? Yes, we just had lunch. Yes, it was nice. Did you elope, sweetie? Sorry..what did you say? You were busy getting steamed. Like a lobster? Yes. Okay. No, I don't know why I asked that. Just know that if you ever elope, I will disown you. I see. No. Well, it's the principal of the matter. Yes, your brothers are here. I will tell them. Have fun. Give my love to Maura. What? LOVE. TO MAURA. Yes. Yes. See you soon.  
(switches off her phone, turns to Frankie and Tommy who are both red in the face)  
Ohhhh you two...

TOMMY and FRANKIE  
(burst out in laughter)

ANGELA  
(looks sternly for a little while. Then joins her sons in laughter.)  
I was THIS close to calling Carla about this! How did I ever raise you?!

FRANKIE  
Sorry, Ma. This was just...

TOMMY  
Too funny. You totally fell for it!

ANGELA  
Yes...well.  
(rummages in her handbag and pulls out her wallet)  
Here. A twenty. They won't elope. They wouldn't dare. Put me down for a big wedding. And you two? You are doing the dishes.

FRANKIE  
(holds out his beer bottle to Tommy)  
Worth it.

TOMMY  
So worth it.  
(clinks his beer bottle to Frankie's)

FADE OUT


End file.
